Why ninjas own pirates? Well here's why!

I don't have any money so leave me alone.

Age 33, Male

Leech

Too cool.

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Why ninjas own pirates? Well here's why!

Posted by Lare - June 23rd, 2008

I've gotten a lot of hatemail from pirate fans, who don't understand why ninjas are better than pirates. So I decided to list reasons why ninjas own and why pirates suck ass.

Ninjas...

- ...look cool
- ...have awesome looking weapons
- ...don't talk too much
- ...don't have cut-off arms and legs
- ...have two eyes
- ...are not drunk all the time
- ...don't stink like old rum
- ...can cover their scarves and wounds with cool masks
- ...are incredibly agile
- ...are amazingly fast
- ...are stealthier than anything else
- ...can disappear under a cover of a smoke-bomb
- ...don't need guns to kill their enemies
- ...can blend in with any crowd
- ...have cool quotes
- ...don't need Johnny Depp to make them look okay
- ...can do awesome ninpo-moves
- ...make awesome games
- ...have cooler background music
- ...can live as mutants in sewers
- ...kick ass in Dead or Alive
- ...don't need a crew to get something done
- ...have cooler pets

Pirates...

- ...stink like shit
- ...wear ugly clothes
- ...use stupid words like "Yar" and "Shank"
- ...have only partial hands and legs
- ...don't have lot of eyes
- ...are drukn too often
- ...are so stupid that they bury their valuables
- ...have ugly women
- ...got their asses kicked by Peter Pan
- ...have to scrub decks
- ...can't do anything alone
- ...rape dogs
- ...can't fight without a weapon
- ...think "booty" means treasure
- ...sing, even though they sound horrible
- ...lack nutrients after years in the sea
- ...have gay sex with each others

If I forgot something, please tell me and I'll add it to the list.

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WikkiXS 2008-06-23 14:45:00

You and your endless war to prove the supremacy of ninjas! Why don't relax with a glass of warm milk?

Lare 2008-06-23 14:45:00 (Updated 2008-06-23 15:11:49)

Relaxing? Warm milk? Those are for weaklings! And ninjas are strong!

RagaRaga96 2008-06-23 16:35:31

Ninjas can use demon abilities for example Sub Zero, Scorpion, Gara, Naruto, and Arcanas from my own bloody stick series. Ninjas actually perfect the of sword fighting. Ninjas are bad ass. They use magic. Better interrogation skills. and many other things that I that i can't fit in to this response.Really, you do need to relax even ninjas relax. You don't need to prove anything. Every person knows that ninjas are better than pirates. Even the pirate fans know that. The reason they still say that pirates are is because they are sore losers. Besides you don't need to worry about pirates. Who need to prove supremacy over are samurais. that is who you need to really worry about. This has been RagaRaga96.

Lare 2008-06-23 16:35:31

Nice. That actually made a lot of sense! I really should do something to those damn samurais.

stickmaster1782 2008-06-23 18:19:53

Ninja just look cool! And they would OWN a pirate's ass! Maximum Ninja is a good example! Ninjas+Madness= AWESOMENESS!!!!

Lare 2008-06-23 18:19:53

And that's why it's in my favorites! ;)

Warboy1945 2008-06-23 20:35:10

I think that people are entitled to thier opinions on this matter but for me, Ninjas always kick ass and there is absolutley nothing to change my mind

Lare 2008-06-23 20:35:10

You're a wise man.

RagaRaga96 2008-06-23 21:06:27

Pie. I like pie. Pie is good. PIE RULEZ!!!!

Lare 2008-06-23 21:06:27

Cool.

NonPlusUltra 2008-06-24 08:25:20

- each Pirate captain has a Monkey and a Parrot :>
- Pirates can say "AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
- there's the song "what shall we do with a drunken sailor", that fits perfectly to pirates but not to ninjas :>
- pirates have a ship and know how to use it

Lare 2008-06-24 08:25:20

- They rape their pets
- "AAAAAARRRRRRRR" sounds gay
- The song suck ass
- Ninjas don't need ships

WikkiXS 2008-06-24 10:23:37

Did someone say SOLID SNAKE! Raiden is a ninja and he can destroy tanks with two legs and a immortal bisexual.

Lare 2008-06-24 10:23:37

Raiden is okay.

JimmySaint 2008-06-24 10:43:21

Some for Pirates...
-...have gay sex with each other

Lare 2008-06-24 10:43:21

I'll add that to the list. Thank you.

x-Exodus-X 2008-06-24 11:54:29

Agreed, ninjas are better.

Lare 2008-06-24 11:54:29

You're a very wise man.

gluttony123 2008-06-24 15:43:26

good point

Lare 2008-06-24 15:43:26

What is?

thingus002 2008-06-26 03:54:41

I don't know why people are having these stupid debates when ninjas OWN everything! Look at Chuck Norris!

Lare 2008-06-26 03:54:41

Well, I'm trying to put an ending to that by telling everyone that ninjas completely own pirates.

The-Indifferent-One 2008-06-26 17:00:23

Why must we look at only the differences? Why not the similarites?

Ninjas and Pirates both -
-...Are part of an on-going internet debate
-...Are a rank or two lower than samurai
-...Use deadly projectile weaponry
-...Are teh pwnz
-...Can be idiots (though the ninja ones usually die immediately)
-...Use swords
-...Sneak up on people (ninjas sneak up on both people and villages, pirates only the latter)
-...Are contantly at a stalemate (see first one)
-...Can smell bad
-...Are strong, in order to survive
-...Can get scurvy (pirates are more often seen with it, but it happens to ninjas that dispise Vitamin C)
-...Need famous actors to get the general population to realize they exist (more often then not)
-...Can both look butt ugly or dead sexy
-...Eat (face it...they do)
-...Usually have battle scars
-...Get drunk from time to time (there are pirates that don't drink, and drunkard ninjas)
-...Stab people in the back (literally and figuratively)
-...Can (and will) use guns a to kill their enemies (Grandmaster Hatsumi 'll do it)
-...Have a code of honor which they (usually) follow
-...Attack at night (most pirates wore eye-patches to preserve night vision, not because they were wounded in combat)
-...Will kill people for money (Privateers...pirates who hunted for a specific government and were technically "legal", a ninja is not above killing for money)
-...Like treasure (everyone likes treasure)

Those are but a few things that Ninjas and Pirates share. (though not necessarily together)

Lare 2008-06-26 17:00:23

Okay, let's see...

-True
-Partially true
-True
-Not true
-Hmmm... Can't really say...
-True
-True
-Well, sorta...
-Partially true
-In their own way, yeah.
-Might be true...
-I wouldn't say so...
-Sadly true
-True
-True
-True
-True
-Nah...
-True
-Not true
-Partially true
-True

wuzzles 2008-06-27 15:37:22

you must smack your balls

Lare 2008-06-27 15:37:22

No, I must kick your balls.

WikkiXS 2008-06-27 15:58:57

Do what want coz a pirate is free, You are a pirate! Yarhar tiberdidii! You are a pirate!

Lare 2008-06-27 15:58:57

Yeah, Lazytown ftw.

WikkiXS 2008-06-27 16:05:02

We're no strangers love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

Lare 2008-06-27 16:05:02

You get weirder every day...

WikkiXS 2008-06-27 16:06:19

Damn it! I have a typo in my last comment! Ignore it!

Lare 2008-06-27 16:06:19

Yeah, I ingored your whole comment.

RagaRaga96 2008-06-27 16:55:02

Ninjas make better pies than pirates

Lare 2008-06-27 16:55:02

Ninjas make the best pies in the world.

WikkiXS 2008-06-28 15:45:37

Which is a better ninja? Cyborg ninja or a regular ninja?

Lare 2008-06-28 15:45:37

Well, if it comes to killing and wreacking havok, then I'd go with the cyborg ninja. But when you need to stealthy and sneaky, it's good to be a regular ninja. And when you're feeling gay, you should be a pirate.

demadness 2008-06-30 19:50:06

Pirates wear tight clothes and nijas have majic and marshal arts.

Lare 2008-06-30 19:50:06

True, true..

NonPlusUltra 2008-07-01 07:18:18

Pirates have their own collab *ARRRRRRRRRRRRR* !!!
<a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/446489">http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /446489</a>

Lare 2008-07-01 07:18:18 (Updated 2008-07-02 07:18:46)

Ninjas have their own podcast-show:
www.askaninja.com

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