Ninjas are cool and pirates suck ass.

Okay, NvP-stuff is done, so here's a video.

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I totally want to try this!

Damn, I hate those stinking pirates!

So now that we got that Ninjas vs Pirates-stuff out of the way, I got an announcement. There's a new game hitting the stores this year. There are rumors that it will be more popular than Halo 3, CoD 4 and MGS 4 all together! I managed to get a hold of beta-copy, and let me tell you something, it's revolutionary! I can't really reveal all the details, but the basic idea is, that there are two white blocks bouncing a white ball between them! It rocks!

I took a photo of the cover:

Meaning of this post, is to prove that ninjas can hack stuff too. They don't just walk around killing pirates, they also mess around with various websites, like this one for instance. I'm sure some of you don't believe me, and want more proof, so I decided to give you a little taste of my ultimate ninja-powers:

First, I decided that I would be cool to see what it would feel like to be Tom Fulp, so I opened my computer and started to work my way through Newgrounds member-database. The I found TomFulp's account ID, copied it and changed my own ID to that same thing. And voilá, I was logged in as TomFulp! Here's some proof.

Then I wanted to give my crappy flashes better score, so I used Tom's account and his limitless voting power to give my two horrible flashes a better score than any other flash in the whole portal. As you can see in this picture, that worked out just fine!

Finally, I wanted to give myself a better level. That level 60 icon is so cool, that I wanted to use that myself. I've also been jealous of that Golden Aura that moderators have, so I decided to give myself that too. Unfortunately, the Aura apparently doesn't change the level 60 icon in any way. But still, it looks pretty cool anyway, doesn't it? (picture below)

But because I love Newgrounds, I thought that it would be nice to change everything back to way they were. So now my userpage looks the same as it used to, and I'm logged in as Lare. That concludes my little ninja-adventure inside Newgrounds. ;)

Oh, and btw:
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Many people send me PM's asking ninja-related stuff, so I decided to make a little FAQ here.

Q: Are you a ninja?
A: Yes. Never question that.

Q: Can bullets kill a ninja?
A: No. If you don't believe me, watch the movie "Ninja 3: The Domination".

Q: Is Naruto a ninja?
A: Some say he is, but I wouldn't say that.

Q: Do ninjas alway land on their feet?
A: Yes, always. If they don't have feet, they'll land on someone elses feet.

Q: Do ninjas have a bad temper?
A: You don't want to know.

Q: Why aren't there ninjas in the UFC?
A: Ninjas are banned from the UFC due to a long streak of brutal wins.

Q: Do ninjas smoke?
A: No, but they use smoke bombs.

Q: Wich are cooler, pirates or ninjas?
A: Shut up.

Q: Why do ninjas wear black so often?
A: Because they're is cool.

Q: Would Chuck Norris beat a ninja.
A: Chuck Norris is a ninja. That would be a paradox.

Q: Do ninjas sleep?
A: No. They wait.

Q: Are there ninja women?
A: Yes. And they're hot.

Q: How hot?
A: Very hot.

Q: Are there gay-ninjas?
A: No, and there never will be. Never.

Q: Can ninjas do Hadouken?
A: Ninjas invented Hadouken.

Q: Do ninjas fart in the faces of samurai?
A: If they feel like it. But they never will.

Q: Why don't ninjas ever fight?
A: Why don't birds ever fly?

Q: Can ninjas crawl on ceilings?
A: Ninjas can even sleep on ceilings.

Q: What does the scouter say about the ninja's power level?
A: It's... It's over NINE-THOUSAAAAND!

Q: Where do ninjas come from?
A: From ceilings and stuff.

Q: Do ninjas have anuses?
A: Yes, and they're deadly.

Q: Are TMNT's really ninjas?
A: Yes, definetly.

Q: Did ninjas invet hentai?
A: No, but ninjas invented interent wich contains a lot of hentai.

Q: Will ninjas ever rule the world?
A: Just wait and see...

Q: Can ninjas kill you without you knowing?
A: Yes, and that's how they usually kill you.

Q: Do ninjas like pie?
A: Sure, as long as it doesn't have raisins in it.

Q: Why don't ninjas like raisins?
A: They're are the tool of evil.

Q: Is gingerbread-ninja really a ninja?
A: Yeah, but he's not very good at it.

Q: Do ninjas fart?
A: No. Never.

Q: Let's assume that two ninjas were fighthing each other. What would happen?
A: Everyone within 50 kilometer range would die and one ninja would have a bruise on his chin.

Q: Do ninjas shit in to a samurai armor?
A: If they must.

Q: What's ninjas favorite weapon?
A: Sarcams. And sometimes shurikens too.

Q: What's ninjas favorite way to kill someone?
A: Using paper to cut wounds.

Q: Do ninjas die?
A: Yes, but only when their over 90 years old.

I will update this when I get more questions.

I've gotten a lot of hatemail from pirate fans, who don't understand why ninjas are better than pirates. So I decided to list reasons why ninjas own and why pirates suck ass.

Ninjas...

- ...look cool
- ...have awesome looking weapons
- ...don't talk too much
- ...don't have cut-off arms and legs
- ...have two eyes
- ...are not drunk all the time
- ...don't stink like old rum
- ...can cover their scarves and wounds with cool masks
- ...are incredibly agile
- ...are amazingly fast
- ...are stealthier than anything else
- ...can disappear under a cover of a smoke-bomb
- ...don't need guns to kill their enemies
- ...can blend in with any crowd
- ...have cool quotes
- ...don't need Johnny Depp to make them look okay
- ...can do awesome ninpo-moves
- ...make awesome games
- ...have cooler background music
- ...can live as mutants in sewers
- ...kick ass in Dead or Alive
- ...don't need a crew to get something done
- ...have cooler pets

Pirates...

- ...stink like shit
- ...wear ugly clothes
- ...use stupid words like "Yar" and "Shank"
- ...have only partial hands and legs
- ...don't have lot of eyes
- ...are drukn too often
- ...are so stupid that they bury their valuables
- ...have ugly women
- ...got their asses kicked by Peter Pan
- ...have to scrub decks
- ...can't do anything alone
- ...rape dogs
- ...can't fight without a weapon
- ...think "booty" means treasure
- ...sing, even though they sound horrible
- ...lack nutrients after years in the sea
- ...have gay sex with each others

If I forgot something, please tell me and I'll add it to the list.

That's right, ninjas do own. It makes me sick to think that someone would even suggest that something so retarded as pirates, could actually put up a fight against a ninja!

Seriously, people! What's wrong with you? Have you ever seen a pirate? They look ugly, they stink, they're always drunk, they're full of diseases, they talk like idiots, they can't even disappear using a smokebomb and according to my research, 99.78% of them are also attracted to other men! What is so cool about that? And ninja? They look incredibly cool, they don't stink, you can't find them drunk, they're 100% disease free, their languages sound awesome, they can do flippin' ninja moves and are totally straight!

So please stop telling me that pirates are even remotely cool, okay?

EDIT: I was testing these flame effects on photoshop, and this is what I came up with:

http://img388.imageshack.us/my.php?ima ge=ninjaflamessmallvw9.gif

Image is too big for Newgrounds servers, so you have to view in there.

It's ninja-time, everybody!